i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
