You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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