YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Plan B is the new Plan A
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
