Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
