u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
