when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
