she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize