Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
