Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
