There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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