Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize