words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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