Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
His hands were made for my vagina.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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