i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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