I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
