He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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