I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
