Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
