Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
And then he peed in my hair
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