My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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