that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
