Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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