12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
