remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
