i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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