guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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