Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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