She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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