Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
