Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
