Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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