i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
