You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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