He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
