We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
