I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
