well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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