mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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