Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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