I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
