He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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