Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I am one with the molecules
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I am mentally ready for anal.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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