you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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