My entire life is one complicated drinking game
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
