i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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