yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
