She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
