i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
