Im at strip club and am horny
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
