Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
