I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
