All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
