And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm like, not good at living.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
