I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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