What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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