oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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