don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
