Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
