My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
two words...techno handjob
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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