dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize