also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
