It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
