If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
