Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
